the place and everything else

Masih byk lagi kah jahiliyah diri ini?
Have I not remembered You enough yet?
Allahu, there's so many things on the list still left unchecked. the daily mutabaah amal is merely bearable to keep me going.

When my brother posted this pic,
i have no idea why but i literally cried like a little child. the thought of thinking i've been planning to go to this place for sooo long but he got the chance to go first...
For all Allah knows, his heart is purer than mine. he was chosen.

The thought of Allah chooses His ansarullah, frightens me so much. mungkin selama nie nampak mcm buat byk, berlari2 dgn akhwat nk naik gerabak dakwah, but has the train already left me behind? am I not keeping up? mungkin tak cukup lagi amal nieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee DI oiiiiiii
Its not just the place. its that and everything else. sejauh mana DI bekerja untuk Dia.
kerja itself is kata kerja. walk the talk. banyak lagiiiiiii hak yang tak tertunai, Allah.

this world is certainly a mirage. 
so many attracts you from different angles, pulling u in, away from the reality. 

Allah, grant us siratul mustaqim. 
the straight path is not one can find so easily. Allah chooses who's going to be on that path. pray for that path to be shown. 

p/s: i seriously will take every chance You give me to go to Makkah, no matter how. May Allah ease.

smaller things

jiwa yang besar.
bukan senang nak bertukar menjadi seorg yg extraordinary. He knows how each of us had struggled with all the jahiliyyah pulling us back, nak tarik balik masuk dalam lumpur.
bukan sehari dua nak berubah, nak berusaha untuk berubah apatah lagi.
and once u are on the right track, there are bound to be those unwelcomed 'whispers' trying to pull you.
bukan senang nak kekal. true, Allah really choose those who are worth it.
To stand where I am now, Allah has tested me with so many things.
and Allah will continue to test us.

Sometimes, not even with the big things.
Up until now, I have been taught to always look at the bigger picture. mana main tengok benda2 kecik. Even my goals in life are big.
and I expected that in tarbiyyah too. Although I was literally crawling, crying, begging not to be turned back into what I was before, alhamdulillah with Allah's help I got through. but I am not saying I am better now. I am still trying, we all are.

and now Allah tests us with one of those tiny little things, dah tak tahu macam mana nak handle. sebab always looking at the bigger picture eh?

kata-kata murabbi : kalau bende sekecil nie pun kita tak boleh nak work things out, macam mana kita nak expect tarbiyyah adik2 berkembang? kalau kita tak boleh nak tolerate dgn each other, macam mana kita nak expect adik2 ikut kita?

Betul. sangat betul.

bigger things in life and akhirah goes parallel with smaller things along the way. 

kalau perasaan dan perangai kita tak boleh dikorbankan, macam mana dakwah nak berkembang?
aiseh, enti pun tahu ana bukan seorang yang expressive.
Bukan seorang yg pandai berkata-kata.
apatah lagi yang suka meluahkan perasaan.