reasurring oneself?

sometimes u do something for all the wrong reasons.
we assure ourselves that what we are doing is for our own good.
but yet, we do it only to satisfy our wants. our lust.
we cover our actions with words of wisdom and good thoughts so that it will look ok.
but actually, we are liars. we know it but we're still doing it all the same.
because its not us that are in control of ourselves.
we've been thrown over by our lust.

is it right to say 'aaaaaaa, my nafsu got over me again' ?
boleh ke jadikan benda tu satu alasan??
sakit memang la sakit. susah memang la susah. sebab tu Allah namakn benda nie jihad. jihad melawan nafsu. are we fighting hard enough? or are we letting our nafsu take control so easily, so willingly over our hands, our eyes, our minds?

i'm speaking more to myself than anyone else on this one....it's a never ending jihad.

sekelumit rasa

praise to Him!
for what?
well for starters, He gives you the feeling. oh nope, not just any kind of feeling.
but the feeling of loneliness, emptiness, not being able to survive this dunya.
when He gives you the feeling, u would know that u wouldn't able as to lift a pen without His permission. without His wish, ur heart wouldn't even beat.
when He gives u the feeling, quickly go to Him so that u can fill the emptiness in u with Him. That's what u call falling in love.
its falling in love with the Real Thing.
Oh God, seriously it's pricey.
u wudn't get it in a blink of an eye.
that's why jannah is so precious and expensive.

i know u'd understand. because u feel it too. even when u're not saying it and i'm not talking to u, u know it. let's cling on to Him first :)

take me back

have u ever gone through a situation where u've been so absorbed with your work or your own life, and u didn't even realised that u're starting to ignore other's presence, other's love for you. you've been so worked up with what's going on with you, that others didn't seem that important.

sama la jugak kes nye kalau sekarang ni kita sgt2 la rsa absorbed dlm dunia yg penuh dgn kesenangan, xda nak kena guna otak sgt sbb xperlu struggle pon nak pikir tv channel mana yg nak ditekan, ataupun hari nie nak makan ap.bila dah ada semua tu depan mata, mulalah kita mengabaikan satu benda yang sebelum nie sgt2 kita sayang, sgt2 kita kasih sbb kt dia je la kita turn to when everyone else is absorbed in their own little sanctuary.

kita sekarang sibuk sgt.sibuk dengan benda2 yg kecik2. benda yg xperlu tahap IQ yg tinggi utk sussed it out.  storm in a teacup, ppl say. "nak pakai baju ap utk jumpa kawan, ye?" haaaaaaaa...soalan nie xde pula susah waktu tgh busy dgn study dulu. sbb quite frankly, its unimportant.

setiap hari tengok je langit. tengok je air. we walked on the ground. we see other people.

tapi setakat tu je la. 'haishh mana ad masa nak usha org tu makan ap, pakai ap.' 

takde, bukan suruh usha pon. 

but how often we use our great minds which Allah has given us, to just think about Him?

we say, 'look beyond what lies in front of us.' sekarang la. bila lagi? Allah bagi spectacles Islam kat kita, bukan semua orang dapat kn? 

so sekarang nie, what went wrong? where's our conversation abt Him dat we usually had in our free times when we not forcing ourselves to look at biology books, chemistry books? 

we have all the free times we can ask for right now, but what are we doing with it?

mathurat entah ke mana. where's our istiqamah?

now, we so focused on d next drama on the tv, so absorbed in what others are posting on your wallpost, so obsessed with the trending tweets that we forget.

we forget the one that its name never seem to escape from our lips during times of tides n hell.

sure, we pray 5 times a day. give a pat on ur back, good girl. but is that it?

are we Ihsan? do we feel He's watching over us?

Dia sentiasa and always will be looking out for us.

when u fell asleep on ur desk doing homwrk or whatever, u woke up with a blanket over you. maybe your mum saw u sleeping and couldn't stand seeing u cold overnight. 

but Allah is much better.much2 better :)

Baginya (manusia) ada malaikat-malaikat yang selalu menjaganya bergiliran, dari depan dan belakangnya. Mereka menjaganya atas perintah Allah...

(13:11)

Seriously, x rasa cool ke dijaga sebegitu rupa?

angels! imagine, if we were able to see them, subhanallah! 

our own personal bodyguards :)

dan bukan sape2 pon yg suruh, Allah yang suruh. 

xnampak lagi sayang Dia yg sgt2 syg?

kita? xingat pon sgt kt Dia. 

kalau Allah kurniakan rasa kita nie dh lama dh xjumpa Dia, rasa mcm org yg kita love sgt2 dh xpedulikan kita, Allah tgh bagi chance tuh :)

chance utk we go back to Him. mana tau kalau betul2 nnti dh xdiketuk hati nie, na'uzubillah :(

jom la kita rush towards Him. mcm mana sorg anak yg kalau lari rumah n parents dia marah giler2, they will always leave the door open for you to come back. 

:)

Allah, take me back. 

not now

weyhhh...
i'm just a kid. we put aside the '20 years old' for a minute.
everyone says dat. everyone sees it. n im in no position to say its wrong.
don't do this to me.
i just DON'T KNOW.
please, not now.

Is this a test for me, Allah?
i'm trying to grow up. but not this fast.
i can't handle this problem.
not now

wake up call

Di xsedar dlm merasai keseronokan duniawi, rupa2nya there is something missing. and which is much2 more important.
dlm meredah hari2 yg telah berlalu n yg akn datang, rupn2nya diri ini sudah jauh.jauh sgt. org lain suma yg dikasihi fillah di utara, DI kat selatan.
and the opposite direction isn't good at all, i tell u.
bila baca quran n its meaning with no feeling watsoever, i feel bad. mana hilang rasa tu?
bibir sebut je "Allah, Allah..." but only Allah knows whats inside our heart at this very moment. who or what is filling our hearts?
Allah xpenah stop nak bagi hidayah Dia yg sgt2 bercahaya tapi kita yg tgh menepis cahaya tu, halang dari masuk dlm diri yg hati dah mula menghitam.

"Dan siapakah yang lebih zalim daripada orang yang telah diperingatkan dengan ayat-ayat Tuhannya, lalu dia berpaling darinya dan melupakan apa yang telah dikerjakan oleh kedua tangannya?"

kalau Allah dah bagi ayat mcm ni, mmg cm terpanah la DI sekarang ni. memang manusia bersifat pelupa. tapi bukan namany pelupa kalau kita sengaja. we know its WRONG yet we cover it up with the word RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. 

why? because we feel good about it. on top of the world. yet its bringing us closer to Hellfire. 

Allah sambung lagi ayat di atas:

"Sungguh, Kami telah menjadikan hati mereka tertutup (sehingga mereka tidak) memahaminya, dan (Kami letakkan pula) sumbatan di telinga mereka..."

(18:57)

Jap. hati tertutup. no feeling when reading the Quran. x memahami ayat2 cinta Allah.

Ya Allah :'(

we have been blessed when Allah opened our hearts to accept Him. now? we're closing it.

do we even realise it?

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