diuji

Kalau lah ad satu benda DI nak improve, DI tak nak terasa dengan kata2 org.

Sakit bila dengar org ckp tu, ckp nie. psl kita sendiri.

Tapi xpe, sbb Allah bagi ganjaran yg sgt besar utk org2 yg sabar. sbb Allah tahu susah, susah nak bersabar.

Sabar dgn kata2 org.

Xpe. Maybe org tue xsedar pon apa yg dia cakap. maybe dia igt kita xakn terasa pon dgn kata2 cmtu. maybe it was only a joke.

A joke. that's all it was.
 Nothing more.

Tetapi barang siapa bersabar dan memafkan, sungguh yang demikian itu termasuk perbuatan yang mulia 

(42:43)

First time jumpa ayat nie :') 

Sesungguhnya al-quran tu dah lengkap-selengkapnya. 

Pasal nie pon Allah boleh pujuk DI.

Nak bandingkan dengan kata2 org kafir kt Rasulullah, sungguh DI x mampu nak face d same situation. So, sabar je DI. 

We're all in

Pelik ke kita kalau xambil berat psl adik2 kita?
Pelik ke kita kalau xkesah sgt pon dkt mak,ayah, atuk, nenek etc?

Pelik ke kita kalau xpeduli psl saudara seakidah kita?

Pelik.

Saudara seislam.

"haaa...td F ajak g solidarity protest utk GAZA kat city centre. nak join x? pkul 7 japgi.."

Sungguh, Allah is the best planner. kata nak involve sgt, amek kau.
Bila semua org nak g, DI pon turut ikut pegi.

"jom, perbetulkn niat kenapa nak g nie," berkata seorg sahabat.

Sungguh, niat dan hati sentiasa berbolak balik. Allah je yg tau apa dlm hati.
Naik bus. memenuhkan bus itu dgn sisters.
Sampai di satu simpang, penuh dgn polis. Is it because of the protest? betul nie nak g?

Tapi sungguh, Allah is the best planner.
dan Dia yg pegang hati2 ini. dan Dia tahu apa yg kita perlu.

Perasaan bila nampak bendera palestin di tgh2 khalayak ramai yg majoritinye org Putih?
Sungguh, it was surreal.

Kalau tanya DI kenapa pegi, reason DI : Kalau Allah tanya nanti, wats your contribution towards your muslim brothers and sisters?
I was there to show that I care.

Tapi bila fikir balik, cukup ke dgn sekadar menghadirkan diri kt tempat org berkumpul? ada sorg sahabt nie ckp, dia still rasa helpless sgt even though we were standing beside those people who cares about Palestine.

Bagi DI, kita buat je. Buat je SEHABIS BAIK. SEDAYA UPAYA. sebab Allah tgk setiap usaha, no matter how little it is. But never be satisfied with what we have done. Do more, speak less.

Reward them Your jannah, Allah.

setakat ni je

That push.
Allah, where's that push?

I just need one little push.
And I need to wake up now. from this comfort.
lamanya xrasa susah tu. padahal org lain tgh struggle gile2 kot.
rehat seorg da'ie tu kt syurga.

Nak syurga. tapi ad ke peluh tue? where's ur proof that u r trying ur hardest in everything that you do?
Semua benda buat as ibadah. So that Allah counts it as ibadah. So that Allah sees.

Allah, DI tgh cuba nie. tgh nak bgn dr tidur. dh cukup dh tidur.
dah cukup rasa selesa.
xnk dah.


 

Look hard enough

yesterday.was.awesome.

Macam biasa. melangkah ke Belfast Islamic Centre (BIC) utk kelas budak2 Somalia. First time from all those times yg betul2 rasa, Ya Allah bestnye mengajar diorg. xajar byk pon. tapi yg membuatkn hati ni rasa berbunga dan berpuas hati adalah anggukan kanak2 kecil tu. bukan sekadar mengajar. tapi membantu utk faham. sekadar anggukan dan senyuman diorg bila dapat jawab satu soalan without any help from us, its enough for this heart to melt :)

Dan Allah tambah lagi perasaan best tue.
Selesai sudah kelas, beberapa makcik2 orang putih masuk ke tmpt solat wanita. pakai tudung. okayyyy...terkesima sedikit sbb first time nmpak, selalunya yg datang solat makcik2 arab,turkey,somalia u name it. dr serata dunia.
then, the conversation started.
"assalamualaikum. where are you from?" slh seorg dr kami bertanya kpd dua mkcik yg dduk ats kerusi kt tepi.
"wa'alaikumussalam wrhmatullah. We're from Belfast." Hah. mesmerized. bukan selalu dpt tgk org local yg Muslim. muka dah menunjukkan betapa terujanya DI.
"we're here for the halaqah." wow. halaqah. usrah.
definitely mesmerized.
Rupa-rupanya diorg mmg ad halaqah every week utk org2 yg interested dgn Islam. and one of them said, "insyaAllah, there'll be two girls whom we hope will say the shahadah soon."
ok, tak tau nak guna word ap utk nk menggambarkn muka kiteorg waktu tue :)

Hebatnya makcik2 tu. Betul2 buat apa yg Rasulullah suruh kita buat. ajak org betul2 ke Islam. n they hold on to their faith. absolutely no grey areas.
They said the halaqah is for those who have any questions about Islam, and with the guidance of a brother at BIC, they try their best to give the answers.
Reflect balik kat DI.
sepanjang dduk kt sini, banyak kali je org tanya this n that. all those questions. said their views. tp DI tak berusaha pon nak stand with my beliefs. baru tau betapa susahnya. nie DI. Muslim all my life. but yet know so little.

Satu ayat from my housemate- "bestnye..Islam tu ada kat mana2 je."
Memang. Its us who never look hard enough. nampak diri sendiri je asing. but we are never alone. Be it in Ireland, UK, US, Aussie. bukan focus kt malaysian. no. we're brothers and sisters, tak kira kulit. sgt2 terharu tgk variety of people, tak serupa tapi sujud kt Allah. the same God.

May Allah bless all the work that the sisters are doing :)

its not you, its me

Its not that I don't care.
Its not that I don't mind you.
It's not that you're not important to me.

Demi Allah, DI syg sgt2 kat awk.
cuma...
even if this mouth is not asking u if ure ok, do not think that I'm not worried about how u r.
even if this face looks like 'i don't give a fuss about u', please, don't fall for it.

The closer u r to me, the more difficult it is.
I just don't know HOW.

HOW to ask , "are u ok?"
because the one thing i can't stand is listening to u saying, "i'm fine" when the whole world knows ure not.

Allah, please tell this person whom I love because of You, that I do worry. worry so much. but the words are just so hard to say.

Allah, please make it all better. Know that u r in my prayer.