Tersentap

"Kalau Islam tak perlukan kamu jadi doktor, tak perlulah kamu jadi doktor"

begitulah kata-kata seorang kakak yang dipandang tinggi.

actually, DI (diri ini) tertido waktu akk cakap ayat ni. tapi bila esok tu, rakan2 mempersoalkan pasal nie, it got my attention all of a sudden. 

Adakah DI boleh terima kata2 akak ni? well, i was confused at first. Hati kecil berkata, mana boleh! mestilah kena jadi doktor. baru boleh naikkan Islam sampai UA. Orang kan pandang tinggi kat doktor. ishh..betol ke akak nie.

PAP!

memang kena la kat muka DI. sebenarnya DI nak apa dalam hidup? nak bantu naikkan Islam or just to become someone who has lots of money, luxurious lifestyles, a castle-like house etc.?

sekarang matlamat ialah menaikkan ISLAM. 

ok fine. DI ini sedang berusaha insyaAllah but without becoming a doctor, how am I going to do it? There's no way else that I can think of. Kalau jadi pengutip sampah, mana orang nak dengar apa yang kita nak sampaikan kan. 

kalau orang pandang tukang sampah, kamu nak jadi tukang sampah?

urmmm...terstuck untuk menjawab soalan ini untuk beberapa ketika. 

sekarang DI nampak apa yang akak cuba nak sampaikan.

kita sekarang ni tengah fokus kat matlamat atau alat?

the aim is Khalifah dan Ibadah. the tool is Study/Doctor. not the other way around.

clearkan dalam kepala!

zaman ini, orang pandang mulia dkt org2 professional, those who hav countless degrees, PhDs, u name it. all sorts of distinctions. dat is why we hav to become one of them. to portray Islam itself. but is it enough? so what if we become a doctor or specialist? how do ur patients know that ure Islam? not just 'Islam' as stated in ur IC but 'islam' as in merangkumi ur whole life. 

please note: theres a BIG difference between 'i' kecik n 'i' besar ye. one is noun. one is verb. u choose, which islam u want. 

macam mana DI nak bagi orang nampak DI seorang muslim? 

buatla apa sunnah Rasulullah yang terbesar: menyampaikan.

bila orang nampak kita bukan hanya Islam pada nama tapi kita mengamalkan Islam itu sendiri dlm seluruh aspek kehidupan, be it from the way u dress, d way u speak, d way u eat, from the biggest thing to the smallest. PLUS menyampaikan. 

bagi tau kat orang. ramai je yang nak Islam kt luar sana tapi tak tau mcm mana nak dapat. bagi kita yang tau nie, grab them. they have rights to know. apa yang paling membuatkan DI tersentap is

selagi kalimah Allah tidak tertegak di atas muka bumi ini, semua yang bergelar umat Islam menanggung dosa. kecuali bagi mereka yang sedang berusaha menegakkannya

adakah DI sedang betul2 berusaha? buat kemalasan yang melanda!

those people out there, they have their rights TO KNOW. 

Why take the long road?

Kenapa kena sampaikan nieee...........
Ish...malasnya nak wat usrah....
next week la panggil adik2 iftar...
nak ke x pegi program??

Begitulah soalan demi soalan yang timbul dlm kepala.
Kenapa laaa hati nie berbolak balik?
DI (diri ini) memang nak, tapi berbagai2 alasan yang dibuatny bila masa yang nak kena wat tu datang.
Buat ap?
Menyampaikan. dalam erti kala lain-dakwah.
wahhhh...takutnye dgr perkataan tu. mcm pelik je budak umur 18 (ok, nearly 19) tahun nak buat. apa je la yang boleh buat kan?

SALAH. dakwah menuntut umat Islam tak kira usia, tak kira masa. once u got it, once u understand, u have to tell it. Spread the words.

Tak payah la fikir complicated sampai nak wat ceramah besar2. fikir dlm environment yang kita tengah duduk dlm dia skrg nie.
hmmm...what can i do eh so that people can see Islam? - always asks d question to urself.
Even helping people on d road or when u walked pass by them, is a form of dakwah right.

Once a friend, always a friend

This post is dedicated especially to a friend whom I did not have a chance to know him well enough. 


At 10pm when I was about to perform my Isya' prayer, a friend told me a shocking news of another friend of ours who suddenly was admitted to hospital. because of brain tumour. i was startled.
After the prayer, I asked more details on him. He was our ex-schoolmate and an engine student here in KMB. He was complaining of a severe migraine during the last two days of school. But then it got worst and he was sent to HKL. That was as far as the news goes.
That night, when i opened my facebook account, i saw friends of ours, ex-Taipings and KMB-ians all posting about his conditions and asked everyone for their prayer. At the same time, a friend skyped me asking if I want to pay a visit at HKL to see his condition. I agreed. Never had I thought i wouldn't have the chance to meet him one last time. 
I slept early that night. At 5 am, i saw a message in my phone. It was from Emma. She told me that the friend has passed away last night at 2.50 am. ... 
...
...
...
...
I don't know how to react. numb.speechless, as I laid on my bed emotionless for a minute. Suddenly, it started to make sense. I was scared.


I got up and went upstairs for Subuh. I saw my friends. I don't know what to say. I went and stood next to the Imam. After giving salam, doa follows. I turned to my friend whom I was speaking to last night, who told me the news that our friend was admitted to hospital, and I cried. I couldn't stop. I walked back to my room and read my favourite surah..
I was ok again. 
Then came an announcement for those who want to read Yassin at the surau for our dear friend. I went. Then I got ready for class but somehow I felt that I need to call my mum first.
All the tears came pouring out again. This time, i couldn't stop firing question at my ummi as i fought back the tears. "why does it have to be him?" "why did he have to go? he's only 19" and so on. I couldn't control myself. Thank God I was alone at that time. 


I was taught one precious lesson from all of this. Before this, I know that life is short but I didn't value it. I didn't value the chance Allah has given me with days that are coming. 
Only the day before all of this happened , we tadabur surah An-Asr. Demi Masa.
Just thinking about the short time he has to seek forgiveness kept me thinking about my time that I have spent here in this world...
Dear Ihsan, I pray for u always. I pray that Allah takes good care of you. 
For all of us that are still breathing this air we'r borrowing from Allah, never forget that there's always a possibility of not waking up the next day. So, everything we do, lets do it for Allah.


Al-fatihah

Maksud 'lepak' dalam kamoos IB

hari ni mcm biase, stay back sama ad di kelas or library.

today's target: try to understand how to do maths portfolio. not DO. but UNDERSTAND. (its NOT a piece of cake when it cums to do maths port, even if its STANDARD LEVEL.)

we spent about 2 hours just to draw the flow of how we were supposed to do the write up.

on d way nak balik, ATH and EM (my two good friends) bersembang2, "best la kalau kita melepak cmnie smpai malam." saya pulak respond, "dasyat kan budak IB. org lain kalo dgr kita sembang mesti xpenah tlintas pun kt fikiran maksud 'lepak' kita." kami bertiga ketawa :D

Definisi LEPAK disini ialah:
-habiskan masa memahami sesuatu tntg IB syllabus
-tempatnya bsr kmungkinan di library or in class or concourse (sume tmpat2 akademik -_-)
-unsur gelak ketawa pun usually revolves around IB things
-d most loved gadget of all is our GDC (a calculator worth RM460+, yup love it so much that we wud spend our time searching for it more than we wud spend time for our phones)
-membuka laptop utk search for stuff we dont know or understand. (though at d same time still hav tabs on twitter, fb, blogs etc)

dan mcm2 lagi...

dats why wen I said I spent my 3nd raya (eid baru2 nie) doing Theory of Knowledge essay, ppl say i'm being irrational. even my family.
haha...i can only laugh at myself for becoming d new ME here in KMB.
among us, we're normal. but to people outside kmb, we are NERDS.
but that's okay. because i dont just learn IB stuff. I got more than what i've hoped for here :) tarbiyah Allah ada di mana2 shj rite?

-

Sejauh Manakah?

"Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sebelum mereka mengubah diri mereka sendiri."

What does d ayat above shows?
Everyday I sit in front of my desk in my room with d ayat next to me. Reminding me all the time of what I need to do. It was d ayat that pulled me back up in Sem 1. Yup, still remember it. It was after Econs paper. I thought I’d answered so bad that as soon as everyone was out of the exam hall, I cried. Haha. Well, I can laugh now but back then, it was horrible.
Maybe it was only d first sem. Back in high school, I cudn’t recall if I had cried or not about these sort of stuff.
But the point I am stressing on here, what do u get in the end after u cry until u look like a panda? I did this before. Lots of time. and it didn’t made me feel any better.
Looking back at d ayat, Allah has shown us d solution.
If u just sit n do nothing, n all u do is regretting what’s being done, you wont get nowhere. GET UP.
Change.
Allah will help those who help themselves!

everything has its reason

"Segala yang disayangi, jika tidak dicintai demi keranaNya maka cinta ini hanyalah kesusahan dan penderitaan. Setiap tindakan yang tidak dilakukan demi keranaNya, maka ia adalah sia-sia dan terasing. Setiap hati yang tiada hubungan denganNya adalah menuju kebinasaan; terhijab dari mencapai kejayaan dan kebahagiaan.(Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah)"

Falling in Love with you

dlm kekalutan dunia, diri ini sering terleka. lalai.
Sampaikan solat, xterjaga khusyuknya.
I cudn't remember the last time I cried to you.
When you were always by my side, I looked for someone else.

The busyness of this world is drowning me. Pull me back up, please.
Sometimes I just want to leave all these work. Most of the time, I want just want to stop feeling so tired. I couldn't find the strength. Not without You.

I often forget how much I need You. How much help You've given me.
This hardship, I do believe I can get through it. I just need You to push me forward

"Grieve not, Allah is with us"
This ayat never fails to make me feel better :')

Sikit je lagi perjuangan di sini

O mankind, indeed you are laboring toward your Lord with [great] exertion and will meet it.

(84:6)

I am doing this for You,
hoping that I am able to meet You one day
so that I can say,
"I've done what you've told me to, Allah"