Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Syukran

Got my bags packed last Thursday. I was going to go to kl for UM. I was offered asasi sains hayat. When I first read the result of UPU online, I was really not expecting for Universiti Malaya as it was my second choice. I admit, I was not grateful of what I'd got in the first place. I built higher hopes for MARA. I prayed and I prayed. Till one day, I realised that a lot of people out there were praying to get A place at ANY university and I should have been ever so grateful for my offer. UM is one of the top universities in Malaysia, also the oldest one. I stopped and I thought back, why shouldn't I be thankful to Allah for offering me this opportunity?
So, I've decided to go for UM while still waiting for MARA.
On 21st May at 4.00pm, I got a message saying I got an offer from MARA.

Tahniah anda berjaya

Tarikh Pendaftaran : 22.6.2010
Kursus : PERUBATAN
Program/Tempat : INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATE (IB) / KOLEJ MARA BANTING (KMB)

This is what I have been praying for.All this time, this is what I had hoped and dreamed about.And I got it. Syukran Ya Rabb
I do believe, if we pray and our nawaitu is for a good cause in the future not for just ourselves but for everyone you are with and will meet, insyaAllah your dreams can come true

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Criticism

Have you ever had someone tells you that what you're doing is wrong?
Kalau dulu, memang sakit hati la dengar orang cakap "eh, yang kau buat tu salah la" or "apa hal nie, bukan elok pun buat macam tu". Rasa macam nak nangis je (yes, I do cry a lot over the slightest things) sebab benda yang kita buat, tak kena di mata orang lain.
Baru-baru ni ada la satu peristiwa yang budak ni condemn apa yang saya buat. Dia cakap tak suka dan rasa pelik kenapa ada orang buat benda tu. Bagi dia je. Padahal belambak lagi orang buat jugak. Mula-mula, saya tanya balik diri saya. Betul ke apa yang aku buat nie? Ke salah? I began to have doubts in what I do. That is one of my weakness. I sometimes tend to follow what people say despite of my opinions.
Saya minta doa. "Ya Allah, jika apa yang aku buat ni salah, maka jauhkanlah diri aku daripadanya. Tapi, jika apa yang aku buat ni betul dan tidak melanggar perintah-Mu maka tingkatkanlah keyakinan ku."
I couldn't get it out of my head for days. His words kept repeating itself to me. Then, I said to myself, enough is enough. That was his point of views. His and not mine. Biar lah dia nak kata apa. Memang tak salah pun. Everyone has their rights to say what they think or believe.
Contohnya, macam budak A suka minum air sirap. Budak B pulak tak suka. (ntah apa2 punye contoh haha). Biar la budak A tu minum pun. Bukannya salah. Tak ada undang2 mengatakan sirap tidak dibenarkan minum kan.
Stand for what you think is right. You have rights. But make sure benda tu memang bukan yang salah. Selalunya kalau jadi camni, its about a thing where there is no right or wrong answer.
Saya nak tegaskan di sini, different people sees different perspective of things.
Bukan semuanya betul dan bukan semuanya salah

(sorry tak boleh nak jelaskan apa dia "benda" yang budak tu condemn saya)

A peek inside my diary

I'd never thought I would be feeling this dumb again.
After so many times being let down, I am going through the merry-go-round again. I hated it
It's the feeling of being alone, that I don't belong with anyone. Maybe it's not for years and years to come but I want the feel of secure. That I don't have to search for anyone again. Just him and that is that.
Is it enough, using modern technology as the middle person so you can reach him? How on earth am I supposed to meet up with him when we're living hundred miles away from each other? But then, even if we'd ever get the chance to meet, would I go?
ok, I am talking like a saddo.
If there was ever The One, I want him to be mine. Everyone has their pros and cons. I just have to accept it as a part of him.
BUT
Now, come to think of it, why shouldn't I let go of this stuff? It'll come.Eventually.
Let's focus on MEDIC first.
I've got a whole loads of bodies coming my way. Yeah!