Looking back

I have been meaning to write this post for a long time but somehow I thought I did the same thing once so I can't really blame them. However, the past is the past and what is more important is the present.

Going back through the long years I have been living, I can say that I am not the same person as I was five to six years ago. I lived for several years in UK. Those wonderful years I have spent did leave me with some amazing experience (friends, schools, environment around you) but there was one thing I regretted the most.

Being a teenager back then, I didn't have much faith.I didn't care much about my religion.Of course I am a Muslim.Yes, I did wear my headscarf since I was seven. When people says "you're westernized" oh yeah it can happen alright and it is never impossible especially as a teenager living overseas, you can be easily influenced by the western culture.You started to see how they wear their clothes, the style and it doesn't take too much time before you started copying them. And I wasn't excluded from experiencing these things.

I am ashamed to tell that there was time when I didn't wear my headscarf.Mostly during P.E (Malay-PJ).During this period, we usually had to combine classes and I remembered one girl from Pakistan I think whom I talked to seldomly because she couldn't communicate in English very well. She never took off her headscarf even when we're doing P.E.Why didn't I follow her? Why did I have the slightest intention to show my hair?I didn't think it was important at that time though I knew my parents would go nuts if they saw me like that. Stupid! I now realise that Pakistani girl was proud to wear her headscarf.And I should have to.Mind you, my friends didn't tell me to show off my hair,no. They knew about it and they respect Islam. Why didn't I show them the good in Islam through my actions?Why did I disobey the most important thing as a muslimah?

I looked back now and I knew my decision to come back to my homeland was the right one.I was so close to stay back in Exeter and finished off my GCSE but I didn't. Although I missed my life over there, I never would have traded it for my life now. To me, I think Allah has given me the chance to travel on the right path. I would have never regain and strengthen my beliefs if I stayed in UK.

Alhamdulillah I got accepted in MSJC Taiping after scoring straight A's in PMR and through that achievement I have found something that is worth living for.Something that has made me who I am today. I have found the real Islam and the true joy of being a muslim.

I am lucky to have been given such opportunity to learn about so many new things I never knew about Islam.

Allah Maha Pengampun dan Maha Mengasihani my friends. It is never to late to ask for His forgiveness. And always remember we as human can never escape from making a mistake and that is why if you can repent every night for the things you did wrong during the day or any other time, do it. Jangan bertangguh. Only Allah knows if today would be the last time we'd ever breathe in the air..