Jealous much

ENvy is such a terrible feeling isn't it? I couldn't fool myself anymore. Yes, I always expect myself to be at the top and when I tumbled down below, I couldn't handle the situation.

Living in a boarding school has made me into some kind of athlete who is in some kind of a race against everybody even my best friends. The frustration of seeing everyone ahead of me in exams, have made me into a selfish person indeed. I couldn't deny that.

Believe it or not, I couldn't even be in the same room if I see anyone studying. Back in form 4 was the worst. I couldn't even sleep if I see my dorm mates studying. SO SELFISH aren't I? My biggest mistake that I made was to my classmates. The boys didn't matter too much. It's just when you see someone who use to be lower than you but suddenly she's like awoken from her sleep, already beating me in study by a mile. I couldn't.

Although I tried to hide my anger, she would noticed it. It's not her fault I know that. And I'm sorry for being such a horrible person. Sometimes I just wished that she would stop reading,writing,studying...what kind of a person am I?

I know I'm dying for these wishes to come true but in the real world, you just have to accept that sometimes you're at the top and it's never possible for you to be in the bottom below. There are times that you might thought the whole world is turning its back from you and today might not be your day, be patient. Be patient because everything happens for a reason.

One more thing Nabila, don't treat everyone like your enemy. Both of you can be the best. Be like the Chinese crab, help your people don't bring them down just so you can be at the top. InsyaAllah you too will be on the road to success!