Yup, this is it

Hati DI rasa mcm kena thumped byk kali kebelakangan nie.
evrything thats happening, it like a blow rite in the middle of the heart.
manusia, normal la kan kalo rasa mcm nie.
rasa syok sekejap, pastu rasa cm, "what's d point? it doesn't guarantee anything"
rasa xbest. rasa cm dah commit satu mistake yang amat dasyat sekali. (bagi DI ini, macam tu la)

haha..mesti x phm. what is this girl saying???


too much worrying about the future, makes you forget about the present.


and betapa selfish nya DI rasa sebab worry pasal future DI, forgetting that the rest of the world, my brothers n sisters, need me right now.

while evryone is busying theirselves with what's happening to our world, DI mcm meng-excludekn diri, terawang-awangan dgn dreams that are uncertain, feeling like i'm 'at the top of the world' while my brothers & sisters r suffering here n there. 

macam mana la nak naik satu tangga dlm maratib amal, kalau diri sendiri x settle lagi? 


when i'm still in my own world, its like im excluding myself from being a part of the bigger picture. Allah dah cakap Islam akan naik, kenapa xnk jadi a part of it? going all out in being a muslim yang hebat!

Subhanallah, DI sentiasa rasa disayangi sbb tatkala DI ini leka dengan permainan dunia, Allah tak nak hamba dia nie terlepas dari sesuatu yang mashaAllah, lebih important.

Evrytime we're doing something, ask ourselves: am i suppose to do this? does this, in anyway, a contribution that i'm giving, as a muslim? can people see Islam with what I'm doing?

If its no, then stop doing it immediately, even when u sometimes feel there's no harm in doin it. and kalau lebih teruk lagi, bila kita rasa seronok dgn apa yang kita buat, padahal benda tu x mendatangkan apa2 kebaikan kpd diri in the long run.

Yakinlah, ramai yang memerlukan tenagamu untuk tegakkan agama Allah yang pasti ni. selagi orang yang kita kenal xtau apa itu Islam, selagi tu our heart n soul is needed. yup, this is the road i'm choosing.

like a friend once wrote: Jannah is expensive :) xkan expect DI nak masuk tanpa menitikkan keringat sedikit pun untuk Dia?

Nahnu ansarullah!

Semakin suntuk

*blink blink*
sem 4 is coming. n its coming fast.
nearly 2 years studying IB. and what a person i hav become haha.
LIST of things still going on:

• TOK essay yg memerlukan byk membaca
• EE fuhhhh 3rd draft dah dowhhhh
• World lit -takut plagiarism waaa

without this three, my life in IB wouldn't b complete. 

*counting...* so, 4-5 more days still. 

berseronok di rumah, dah. mengasyikkan diri dgn hiburan tv yg xde byk sgt manfaatny, dah. tido byk, pun dah. 

checklist yg xperlu plak yg dah abes dibuat.

hmmm...sesungguhnya yg akhir lebih baek drpd permulaan. even tho dah teruk sgt habiskn masa, kalo x abes g cuti, DI tetap ad lg waktu yg boleh digunakan sebaiknya, inshaAllah. 

tolak tepi KESERONOKAN D DUNIA!!!

nak merakit2 dahulu. nk bersenang2 nnti laaaa

Kesedaran

i bought a present for myself about 3 to 4 months ago. and it was the best present ever Allah has given me. DI dapat kesedaran.

"it is He Who sends down manifest Ayat (proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc) to His slave (Muhammad) that He may bring you out from darkness into light. And verily, Allah is to you full of kindness, Most Merciful." (al-Hadiid [57:9])

Allah has guided me to finish reading a book today, d present that i bought. given that nearly all my friends has finished reading it already, way before i did, they were constantly talked and shared about how good the book was. feeling not wanting to be left out, i also commented that it was great, just like they said.

the truth is, sometimes i didn't feel like it at all.

Memang hati tu Allah yang pegang. Memang tak boleh paksa hati ni untuk accept apa yang orang lain dah boleh accept. 

Mayb DI dah lama terima DnT, tapi hati nie kadang2 berbolak balik kan. memang tak penah lepas dari keadaan macam nie. tapi in evry cases, Allah x penah lupa kat hamba dia yang sorg nie :')

Allah gives His proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations dalam pelbagai bentuk.

manusia lebih suka lihat apa yang dia mahu. jika bukan kehendak, dibutakan aja mata daripada melihat walau yang benar itu di depan mata, right?

we turn a blind eye at the things our mind wudn't want to accept. even if its the truth. truth which He already says it in the Quran. when do we want to take lessons from that?

Every seconds in our life, every things that we've come across in our life, there's always a reason for that yang Allah nak sampaikan. Lets learn to take ibrah from all of that.

PS: if before this, im always demanding everyone for a present, now i've come to realise that everyone is already the present i've been needing. maybe once its not what i want but through everyone, i learned the essence of life. this life and the Hereafter. thats wayyy more important :)

marah

DI xsuka perkataan tu, perbuatan tu, apa2 la yg berkaitan dgn benda nie.
DI benci kemarahan. sbb lepas tu dia akn mengundang kesedihan.
n when that happens, mula lah waterfall.
dimarahi, selalu.
like right now.

beristighfar? yes. i soo need to do it right now. keep it cool

Its that time of the year!

Holiday of The Year!

Even though its only in Langkawi, it was certainly one of the best vacation i've had so far, alhamdulillah

in the water

banana boat. d coolest experience being on it!

ke-poyo-an : a brother n a cousin 

another ke-poyo-an

nice

father n daughter

in one of d cabin

entrance of the pregnant maiden lake

beautiful :)

subhanallah :)

resort we stayed at

going on a cruise woohooo!

sunset :)

my brother n a 'pregnant' tree at the lake. =.=

Comel:)

DI sgt 1000x bersyukur (no end to syukur) dgn akhawat yg hebat2 yg dikurniakn Allah yg Maha Hebat utk DI.
Subhanallah, i really don't know if i can face all of dis on my own.
Allah ciptakn those hands yg sanggup tarik menarik balik DI to the right path so none of us wud ever be left behind. this is what i call love :')
wahh..there was one time wen i was sittin in d surau blok, listening to d kulsem given. all i did was hear. but then masyaAllah, it was sumthin like lights entering d surau. Allah sent his army. my beloved friends yang seriusly, those who wud do anythin for Allah. to have Islam back to its rightful place in this world. rsa cm kagum sgt waktu tu.. d surau lit up in their presence. to be sittin in a room with sumone who u know is fighting for the same thing as you, and the bond is strengthened with the love for Him, perghhh..coolness, alhamdulillah.
and Allah never leave me alone too, even during these critical times of holidays. He keeps giving me reminders through them.
the words, the calls, the msgs, all have helped me to push my way through the jahiliyah. its soooo cute wen i receives non-stop msgs from my sis, whom with their thoughts have made me rethink about my steps that i'm taking.
if i go back in time, i wudn't have even dream any of this wud happen to me. my inbox were never full of girls names. heeehee, but now when it has, all i cud say is
ALHAMDULILLAH :)

Dr belajar Physics

i never thought i hav to hold another physics book again.
O well. ini adalah kelebihan seorang student. blaja byk2 subject, bleh tolong yg lain yg lebih muda :D

o Baloo, u hav 2 be thnkful to Allah i'm willing to open dis book just for you n ur SPM.

Tanpa kita sedar, kadang2 kita nie riak sbb bajet tau byk sgt benda compared to our younger siblings. show off sumtimes.
tp ingatlah, ilmu Allah itu lebih luas. LAGI LUAS
i luv dis quote: kalau kita amek seluruh air utk jd dakwat pen nk tulis ilmu Allah, nescaya sehingga kering pun xkn habis punye nk tulis


So, brother. dis is only a small thing dat i can do to help you. Pray to Allah to ease ur future undertkings in ur exam next year because its Him who decides what its going to be like. Kita usaha. bukan sbb nk berjaya. tp sebab kita nk dapat redha Allah. rugila kita kalo Allah bg chance utk usaha, tp kita wat ala kadar je. n plus, we don't know d outcome so we might as well try our hardest n put our best effort into it insyaAllah!

Make Me strong

Sem 3 suda habis. Its that time of year again. Holidays. A part of me is shouting "Yippee!" but another part is scared. Scared of whats cumin up ahead for me. What Allah has in store for me, to test me.

Memang fitrah manusia yang kita nie akn minx tolong kt Allah, sbb Allah tu Rabb kita. Tapi brape ramai yang meletakkan Allah sbg Illah kita?


Apa yang membezakan org Arab Jahiliyah ngn kita?
Diorg letak Allah sbg Rabb tp bezanya, diorg x letak Allah sbg Illah. Yang Disembah.
Going back to what dis is all about, DI kdg2 anggap Allah sbg tempat kedua. plus, bila dh selalu berdoa, secara automatik mesti minx kt Allah.smpaikan kdg2 tu perasan pon sbnry tgh berdoa ap. laju je doa keluar dr mulut tp the words, meaningless.
Xperasan?

Make Me strong. Make me strong enough to get past this test. Make me strong enough to cling tight to You. Make me strong enough to be loved by You, always.


Kalau boleh la, nak je slalu rasa dat feeling yang Allah tgh dengar DI mengadu.

Haha..lawak la manusia nie. nak yg terBAIK dari Allah tp xpenah pun usaha nak dapatkn benda tu. Minta pastu buat dosa. Minta, then buat dosa.
nak taubat pulak, asyik2 tangguh. (terpoint kt DI)

Astaghfirullahal a'zim.
Make me strong to fight this battle during my time in dunya Ya Allah. Please give me the strength to keep going in this true path. I don't wanna turn back.

Bearable

*melepaskan keluhan kecil dgn senyuman* (two in one, yeah!)

He made it bearable for me.
I thought i couldn't get through this week. really.
with all the tons of books left untouched beside my bed, stacks of them. This was the one exam i felt that i wasn't ready for it.

But He made me through it.
How is one would b able to read all the chapters in Econs in less than a day? or do maths exercises for each of the syllabus learnt?
Logically, it couldn't be done for someone like me.
I am thankful i wasn't born a genius like some people because it made me appreciate the help Allah always gave me, even though it means i have to cross a road that is long and the pain is almost unbearable.

This weekend, when we tadabbur surah Al Hasyr in our Circle of Love, the ayat struck me:

Dan janganlah kamu seperti orang yang lupa kepada Allah, 

(59:19)

Hmm..selalu je kan kita nie, lepas diberi satu nikmat, terus lupa kepada yang memberi kita nikmat tu in the first place. Contoh: suddenly you feel like you're the only one who can answer the paper well while everyone else seems to struggle with it. Or you feel that you've already studied that part and coincidentally, the same exact thing came out in exam and u think u can score higher than others. Lucky you.

Sifat manusia ni pelupa.

On Monday before i stepped out of my room to go to the exam hall, i took a moment to open Allah's love letters. And He gave me exactly what I needed :)

 Dan tidak ada satu makhluk bergerak (bernyawa) di bumi melainkan semuanya dijamin Allah rezekinya...

(11:8)

Comel x? Allah nak pujuk DI supaya jangan berputus asa dengan rahmat Dia. iA everything that happens, memang yang tu lah yang terbaik. Allah siap bagi JAMINAN lagi. what more could I have asked for? :)

waaaaa...nak nanges je.Allah nie, tau je apa yg diperlukan utk DI.

Lets tick our muwasafat tarbiyyah!

Alhamdulillah :)
dah sihat sikit tubuh badan (dis is called 'bajeting'. konon la being sporty)
Dalam kekalutan IB yang semakin meng-dissolvekn diri dalam pelbagai jenis subject, Allah memberi sahabat-sahabatyang mengajak DI utk keluar dan menikmati nikmat Allah buat seketika.

Yep, while everyone is reading their books, we sneaked out to the field n played basketball ngahaha.

Even though it's only for 1 hour, but that 1 hour has strengthen our bond. and what makes it more special is that Allah is our base of love.
Mathurat yang iA dibaca tiap2 petang mengingatkn DI betapa beruntungnya dianugerahkan dengan rakan2 seperjuangan yang turut melabuhkn cinta mereka kpd Allah.
Sweet kan?

They are, and I thank Allah for this.
IA akan ada satu post sepesial just for them :)
rite now, Allah sdg memanggil utk pegi kulsem hihi

Words

words.words.words.
can sparks feelings, makes u feel good, sad, happy etc.
but right now, i'm talking abt words that makes u feel "I-can-do-it!", dat sort of feeling.

there was a one night wen a friend-of-mine called me all of a sudden. dah lama sgt  x ckp  ngn die.tup tup call. she said to give her a boost in study. "just say anything. anything so that i can get back up."
i just smiled.
i used to be like that.
it took me a long time to realise that they were just words. n nothing more.
its not the words that give u strength.
but its who gives u the strength to say those words :)

we often rely on our parents, if not our friends, to say, "u go girl! there a bright future ahead of u!"
i called my parents not too long ago, saying that i'm slow at studying. everyone seems to pass by so quickly while i'm still crawling behind them, desperate to be at the front.
my usual words: abah/umi...tell me that i can do this. sikit je lagi nih (kadang2 dgn nada memaksa hehe)
and my beloved dad's response was that he broke into a song. yes, a song:

Jika Kau Fikir Kau Boleh! Kau yakin bla3... (dunno the song very well)

seingat DI, ni lagu dlm iklan milo dulu2 kan? (ntah la)

haha..

the point is, their words i admit are very helpful n sumtimes can give us the strength to endure everything that comes in our way but...to what extent?

sampai bila, kan?

wen u shud be searching for Him to help u.

Because He can give u what u need. it may not be what u want, but its the best for U :)

Sejauh manakah muslimah dlm DI?

Maybe Allah nak tegur dgn cara yang halus...
Td baru bukak ILuvIslam. n then terpandang

Hukum 'Chatting', Facebook Chat Dengan Bukan Mahram

Apakah....

Terkedu seketika...

Komen dr ustazah ni lagi membuatkan saya tertusuk di qalbu:

Agak menyedihkan juga dengan kenyataan saudari, bahawa dalam suasana nyata saudari amat menjaga batas pergaulan dengan lelaki bukan mahram, namun di alam siber saudari bebas berbual mesra tanpa batasan syara'. Saya percaya ramai remaja muslimah yang terjebak ke dalam situasi yang syubhah ini.

terpoint dkt diri sendiri
*dush dush*

Realitinya, kita selalu membuat pelbagai alasan untuk membenarkan yang batil. 

termasuklah DI yang penuh dgn kekhilafan diri. 

Moga dikuatkan hati utk melawan nafsu

sekuat mana pun hati ini berkata 'nakkkkk!' sekuat itu jugalah kita harus tolak perasaan itu jauh2...

Sesungguhnya berjayalah orang yang menjadikan dirinya - yang sedia bersih - bertambah-tambah bersih (dengan iman dan amal kebajikan),Dan sesungguhnya hampalah orang yang menjadikan dirinya - yang sedia bersih - itu susut dan terbenam kebersihannya (dengan sebab kekotoran maksiat).

(91:9-10)

Eh..tak yakin pulak?

Heyshh..DI kata DI seorg da'ie...x yakin pulak ke dgn janji2 Allah yang sudah PASTI?
Sikit je masa yang kena contribute utk Islam, and bukannya utk sape2 un. untuk diri sendiri jugak. tu pun hati berbolak balik: "nak ke xnak?"
sampai bila xwat kalo mcm tu.

Yakinlah apa yang DI sedang buat is right. I'm in the right path InsyaAllah!
But it is never easy. and that's a fact.
Sesungguhnya manusia diciptakan dalam keadaan susah payah.
Kan sia2 je kalo dok susah2, tp bukan kerana Allah?

Dear Niwa, kita di jalan yang betul! (hehe...)

Erti Eidul Adha bagi saya

Alhamdulillah.

Allah has given me d chance to celebrate this year's eidul adha with my beloved family. 

I dunno why but only dis year, eidul adha meant something for me.

its sad actually to think of all of the past eid that has gone by, just like that. only now when I see Baitullah on tv, I don't just see people going round in circles but I felt like I want to be one of them, looking up at Kaabah. 

I'm waiting for the call.

Last night, there was a drama on TV3. Panggilan Baitullah if I'm not mistaken. Thank God it wasn't like any typical Malay movies but it was one with ibrah. at least, i did learn something from it.

In this world, for some people, Allah gave them everything. absolutely everything everyone else would only dream of having. Memang diorg sedekahkan pd jalan Allah, u name it: bagi duit dkt org miskin, bagi makan kat anak2 yatim, etc. Tapi, kalau x dihadirkan dengan rasa ikhlas, apa erti semua itu? Tambah2 lagi bila kita expect something in return. 

Bila seorang hamba Allah ni sanggup korbankan apa yang dia ada untuk orang lain, bukankah itu korban? I think that's the true meaning of korban. bila mana kita bagi dkt orang yang lebih memerlukan, without having to announce to the rest of the world about the good deeds that u did, that's korban.

daging2 yang kita buat korban tu, bukan yang itu yang sampai pd Allah. It's d reason why we did it that matters. because of Him. 

pagi tadi dgr IKIM fm, dj tu ckp kalau kumpul setiap hari seringgit for a whole year, dah boleh wat korban :)  DI nak jugak rasa wat korban tu. Godwills.

Jahiliyah diri

how many times must I go through it?
I don't want this anymore. I don't want to go backwards.
susahnya nak buang jahiliyah dalam diri. susah sangat :'(
i'm scared if Allah doesn't want to hear my prayer anymore.
I don't have anything else that I can hold on to besides Allah. Only He understands me the most whenever I needed something. He didn't give me what I want. He always gives me what I need.
Don't let this jahiliyah get in my way of becoming closer to Him.
I hate IT. I don't want it anymore. it's making d light in my heart fading away...

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman lalu kafir, kemudian beriman (lagi), lalu bertambah kekafirannya, maka Allah tidak akan mengampuni mereka, dan tidak (pula) menunjukkan mereka jalan yang lurus" (4:137)

Hati ini sangat sedih dan pilu bila diuji sebegini. Iman DI sedang goyah dan sangat rapuh. DI xnak jadi mcm nie. :'( sedihnya.
kalau Allah tak ampunkan...na'uzubillahiminzalik.
Kalau bukan kerana Allah DI hidup, i don't know what else i'm doing.
tapi tu lah, manusia ini cepat lalai. alpa dengan suka-ria di dunia sampaikan kadang2 kejahilan dan nafsu mengaburi ingatan kepada Pemilik diri ini.

macam mana nak bertahan di atas dunia yang penuh dengan dugaan yang sangat banyak ini? yang menjauhkan diri dari Rabb-nya...

bertahan wahai diri.
Sabarlah. sesungguhnya Allah amat menyayangi hamba-Nya yang kuat

Aku sangat lemah skrg ini, ya Allah. jangan bagi aku hanyut jauh dari-Mu ya Allah. dat's all i'm asking right now :'(

Curry puff

A good deed goes a long way :)

One of my friend was waiting for me to buy food from the koop stall. suddenly, she saw a teacher coming from the car park carrying heavy bags on her left and right hands. out of her kindness, she offered to help the teacher.
while the teacher went to scan her card at the office, we took her loads (well, only my friend was carrying it. i tagged along behind her :D) upstairs to the staff room. without expecting anything and only thinking of how many hmwrks left to be done, my friend n I walked to our classroom.
out of the blue, someone shouted, "girl! girl!" (nice-i never had anyone called me 'girl' before.haha. it sounded funny somehow)
it turned out d teacher called my friend for something. "i have sumthing to give u."
fuyoo..only helped with bags and there's a return for it?

she said she didnt hav anything fancy to give but only curry puff which she cooked only that morning at home. hmmm...yummy :) it been a long time since i've had homemade curry puffs :)))

lesson learnt: there's always a reward gained when u offer a simple help to someone.

don't ever stop from lending a hand to someone.

kepelikan melanda

ada banyak benda nak buat susah. xada benda nak buat pon susah.
mcm ni la pelajar IB yang apabila dilanda musim yang tiada kerja utk dibuat, maka tersangatlah pelik.
so, last week has gone by with TOK, oral BI and today I've done my oral BM.

*mengesat peluh di dahi*
rasa cam.... BESTNYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
boleh x?
:D
xde la best sangat pon sebab bila selesainya satu keje dunia, yang lain datang bertimbun-timbun.
nama pon dunia kan.mana penah stop selagi berpijaknya kaki kita kt bumi ni.

haish...susah2.
kalo nak tido sebelum pkul 12 tanpa ada niat untuk nak bgn balik after dat, dats weird.
seeing my fellow classmates on d verge of tears in getting through dis week, all i can do is to support them from behind and shout, "you guys can do it, iA!"

it is so true that Allah will not burden you with something you couldn't handle. all u need is a little push. PLUS,
when there is difficulty, there's always relief.

selepas ni, DI ini akan meredah lautan homework and d comin sem III exam with all the strength that has been injected into me by Allah. hihi

kata saya boleh!

Tersentap

"Kalau Islam tak perlukan kamu jadi doktor, tak perlulah kamu jadi doktor"

begitulah kata-kata seorang kakak yang dipandang tinggi.

actually, DI (diri ini) tertido waktu akk cakap ayat ni. tapi bila esok tu, rakan2 mempersoalkan pasal nie, it got my attention all of a sudden. 

Adakah DI boleh terima kata2 akak ni? well, i was confused at first. Hati kecil berkata, mana boleh! mestilah kena jadi doktor. baru boleh naikkan Islam sampai UA. Orang kan pandang tinggi kat doktor. ishh..betol ke akak nie.

PAP!

memang kena la kat muka DI. sebenarnya DI nak apa dalam hidup? nak bantu naikkan Islam or just to become someone who has lots of money, luxurious lifestyles, a castle-like house etc.?

sekarang matlamat ialah menaikkan ISLAM. 

ok fine. DI ini sedang berusaha insyaAllah but without becoming a doctor, how am I going to do it? There's no way else that I can think of. Kalau jadi pengutip sampah, mana orang nak dengar apa yang kita nak sampaikan kan. 

kalau orang pandang tukang sampah, kamu nak jadi tukang sampah?

urmmm...terstuck untuk menjawab soalan ini untuk beberapa ketika. 

sekarang DI nampak apa yang akak cuba nak sampaikan.

kita sekarang ni tengah fokus kat matlamat atau alat?

the aim is Khalifah dan Ibadah. the tool is Study/Doctor. not the other way around.

clearkan dalam kepala!

zaman ini, orang pandang mulia dkt org2 professional, those who hav countless degrees, PhDs, u name it. all sorts of distinctions. dat is why we hav to become one of them. to portray Islam itself. but is it enough? so what if we become a doctor or specialist? how do ur patients know that ure Islam? not just 'Islam' as stated in ur IC but 'islam' as in merangkumi ur whole life. 

please note: theres a BIG difference between 'i' kecik n 'i' besar ye. one is noun. one is verb. u choose, which islam u want. 

macam mana DI nak bagi orang nampak DI seorang muslim? 

buatla apa sunnah Rasulullah yang terbesar: menyampaikan.

bila orang nampak kita bukan hanya Islam pada nama tapi kita mengamalkan Islam itu sendiri dlm seluruh aspek kehidupan, be it from the way u dress, d way u speak, d way u eat, from the biggest thing to the smallest. PLUS menyampaikan. 

bagi tau kat orang. ramai je yang nak Islam kt luar sana tapi tak tau mcm mana nak dapat. bagi kita yang tau nie, grab them. they have rights to know. apa yang paling membuatkan DI tersentap is

selagi kalimah Allah tidak tertegak di atas muka bumi ini, semua yang bergelar umat Islam menanggung dosa. kecuali bagi mereka yang sedang berusaha menegakkannya

adakah DI sedang betul2 berusaha? buat kemalasan yang melanda!

those people out there, they have their rights TO KNOW. 

Why take the long road?

Kenapa kena sampaikan nieee...........
Ish...malasnya nak wat usrah....
next week la panggil adik2 iftar...
nak ke x pegi program??

Begitulah soalan demi soalan yang timbul dlm kepala.
Kenapa laaa hati nie berbolak balik?
DI (diri ini) memang nak, tapi berbagai2 alasan yang dibuatny bila masa yang nak kena wat tu datang.
Buat ap?
Menyampaikan. dalam erti kala lain-dakwah.
wahhhh...takutnye dgr perkataan tu. mcm pelik je budak umur 18 (ok, nearly 19) tahun nak buat. apa je la yang boleh buat kan?

SALAH. dakwah menuntut umat Islam tak kira usia, tak kira masa. once u got it, once u understand, u have to tell it. Spread the words.

Tak payah la fikir complicated sampai nak wat ceramah besar2. fikir dlm environment yang kita tengah duduk dlm dia skrg nie.
hmmm...what can i do eh so that people can see Islam? - always asks d question to urself.
Even helping people on d road or when u walked pass by them, is a form of dakwah right.

Once a friend, always a friend

This post is dedicated especially to a friend whom I did not have a chance to know him well enough. 


At 10pm when I was about to perform my Isya' prayer, a friend told me a shocking news of another friend of ours who suddenly was admitted to hospital. because of brain tumour. i was startled.
After the prayer, I asked more details on him. He was our ex-schoolmate and an engine student here in KMB. He was complaining of a severe migraine during the last two days of school. But then it got worst and he was sent to HKL. That was as far as the news goes.
That night, when i opened my facebook account, i saw friends of ours, ex-Taipings and KMB-ians all posting about his conditions and asked everyone for their prayer. At the same time, a friend skyped me asking if I want to pay a visit at HKL to see his condition. I agreed. Never had I thought i wouldn't have the chance to meet him one last time. 
I slept early that night. At 5 am, i saw a message in my phone. It was from Emma. She told me that the friend has passed away last night at 2.50 am. ... 
...
...
...
...
I don't know how to react. numb.speechless, as I laid on my bed emotionless for a minute. Suddenly, it started to make sense. I was scared.


I got up and went upstairs for Subuh. I saw my friends. I don't know what to say. I went and stood next to the Imam. After giving salam, doa follows. I turned to my friend whom I was speaking to last night, who told me the news that our friend was admitted to hospital, and I cried. I couldn't stop. I walked back to my room and read my favourite surah..
I was ok again. 
Then came an announcement for those who want to read Yassin at the surau for our dear friend. I went. Then I got ready for class but somehow I felt that I need to call my mum first.
All the tears came pouring out again. This time, i couldn't stop firing question at my ummi as i fought back the tears. "why does it have to be him?" "why did he have to go? he's only 19" and so on. I couldn't control myself. Thank God I was alone at that time. 


I was taught one precious lesson from all of this. Before this, I know that life is short but I didn't value it. I didn't value the chance Allah has given me with days that are coming. 
Only the day before all of this happened , we tadabur surah An-Asr. Demi Masa.
Just thinking about the short time he has to seek forgiveness kept me thinking about my time that I have spent here in this world...
Dear Ihsan, I pray for u always. I pray that Allah takes good care of you. 
For all of us that are still breathing this air we'r borrowing from Allah, never forget that there's always a possibility of not waking up the next day. So, everything we do, lets do it for Allah.


Al-fatihah

Maksud 'lepak' dalam kamoos IB

hari ni mcm biase, stay back sama ad di kelas or library.

today's target: try to understand how to do maths portfolio. not DO. but UNDERSTAND. (its NOT a piece of cake when it cums to do maths port, even if its STANDARD LEVEL.)

we spent about 2 hours just to draw the flow of how we were supposed to do the write up.

on d way nak balik, ATH and EM (my two good friends) bersembang2, "best la kalau kita melepak cmnie smpai malam." saya pulak respond, "dasyat kan budak IB. org lain kalo dgr kita sembang mesti xpenah tlintas pun kt fikiran maksud 'lepak' kita." kami bertiga ketawa :D

Definisi LEPAK disini ialah:
-habiskan masa memahami sesuatu tntg IB syllabus
-tempatnya bsr kmungkinan di library or in class or concourse (sume tmpat2 akademik -_-)
-unsur gelak ketawa pun usually revolves around IB things
-d most loved gadget of all is our GDC (a calculator worth RM460+, yup love it so much that we wud spend our time searching for it more than we wud spend time for our phones)
-membuka laptop utk search for stuff we dont know or understand. (though at d same time still hav tabs on twitter, fb, blogs etc)

dan mcm2 lagi...

dats why wen I said I spent my 3nd raya (eid baru2 nie) doing Theory of Knowledge essay, ppl say i'm being irrational. even my family.
haha...i can only laugh at myself for becoming d new ME here in KMB.
among us, we're normal. but to people outside kmb, we are NERDS.
but that's okay. because i dont just learn IB stuff. I got more than what i've hoped for here :) tarbiyah Allah ada di mana2 shj rite?

-

Sejauh Manakah?

"Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sebelum mereka mengubah diri mereka sendiri."

What does d ayat above shows?
Everyday I sit in front of my desk in my room with d ayat next to me. Reminding me all the time of what I need to do. It was d ayat that pulled me back up in Sem 1. Yup, still remember it. It was after Econs paper. I thought I’d answered so bad that as soon as everyone was out of the exam hall, I cried. Haha. Well, I can laugh now but back then, it was horrible.
Maybe it was only d first sem. Back in high school, I cudn’t recall if I had cried or not about these sort of stuff.
But the point I am stressing on here, what do u get in the end after u cry until u look like a panda? I did this before. Lots of time. and it didn’t made me feel any better.
Looking back at d ayat, Allah has shown us d solution.
If u just sit n do nothing, n all u do is regretting what’s being done, you wont get nowhere. GET UP.
Change.
Allah will help those who help themselves!

everything has its reason

"Segala yang disayangi, jika tidak dicintai demi keranaNya maka cinta ini hanyalah kesusahan dan penderitaan. Setiap tindakan yang tidak dilakukan demi keranaNya, maka ia adalah sia-sia dan terasing. Setiap hati yang tiada hubungan denganNya adalah menuju kebinasaan; terhijab dari mencapai kejayaan dan kebahagiaan.(Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah)"

Falling in Love with you

dlm kekalutan dunia, diri ini sering terleka. lalai.
Sampaikan solat, xterjaga khusyuknya.
I cudn't remember the last time I cried to you.
When you were always by my side, I looked for someone else.

The busyness of this world is drowning me. Pull me back up, please.
Sometimes I just want to leave all these work. Most of the time, I want just want to stop feeling so tired. I couldn't find the strength. Not without You.

I often forget how much I need You. How much help You've given me.
This hardship, I do believe I can get through it. I just need You to push me forward

"Grieve not, Allah is with us"
This ayat never fails to make me feel better :')

Sikit je lagi perjuangan di sini

O mankind, indeed you are laboring toward your Lord with [great] exertion and will meet it.

(84:6)

I am doing this for You,
hoping that I am able to meet You one day
so that I can say,
"I've done what you've told me to, Allah"

Kepenatan

PErghh..
this is d most 'awesome' week I've had so far in KMB.
'stress' is not the exact word i wud use though. well, i'm trying very hard not to, actually.
pray for me that i can finish all my work on time ..insyaAllah
Give me strength ! :')

I want my children to be the best IM!

Pernah dgr x psl hot issue mubaligh cristian spreading their religion to children who were going to tuition classes? diorg memang pandai kan.target little children, Muslim children, being innocent that they are, to pull them into christianity.
Sayang sgt2 anak2 kecil nie dgn mudah je terpedaya dgn guru2 diorg. Ajarkan lagu la, bagi hadiah la, bwk g jalan2, u name it. All d tactics, they've done it. And they're nearly succeed. Just imagine, only after 6 years that their operation was detected. 6 tahun bertungkus lumus mengajak org ke jalan yang tak betul, and what have we done as a Muslim ourselves?

Kebatilan yang terancang mampu mengalahkan kebenaran yang tidak terancang

Betul tak dgn statement di atas? hmmm...mcm mana dgn anak2 kita nanti? bakal2 khalifah di bumi? Adakah kita nak benda yang sama berulang n na'uzubillahiminzalik, smpai orang2 kristian berjaya tarik diorg sume?
What can we do?
Its true that it is easier said than done but its not to say dat its impossible :) Kita mantapkanlah anak2 kita dgn AQIDAH yang mantap!
tadi dlm kulsem, sy share la topic nie. MasyaAllah sgt byk respond alhamdulillah :) ada sorg adik nie tanya, "akak, mcm mana nak mantapkn aqidah diorg? xke susah nak bagi budak2 umur 6 7 tahun phm psl islam nie? islam nie berat. nanti diorg x mampu. mcm mana nak bagi diorg phm betul2? bdk2 mna reti nak membezakan antara hak dan batil."
mantap adik tu tanya.
and then, ada sorg sahabat share satu citer. dia kata waktu dia solat kt surau ktm seremban, dia dgr ad sorg ibu ni tanya kt anak dia yang umur dlm lingkungan 3thn. ibu dia tunjuk kt shabat sy nie yg duduk kt tepi. "siapa yang jadikan kakak ni?" si ibu tanya anak lelaki dia yang comel ni. and u noe wat he answered? "Allah." Subhanallah, dat kid only 3 years of age with aqidah yang betul2 kuat. it answered d question above. its never impossible to build one's aqidah, even if theyre just a small child. Once Allah is inside their heart, there is nothing that can takes His place.
'Kanak2 kn ibarat kain putih. Ibu bapa yang mencorakkannya sama ada menjadi Nasrani, Yahudi atau Majusi.' insyaAllah mcm tu la bunyi hadis ni. Aseef bleh bg mafhum je. Why not build individu muslim dari awal lagi? Ishh..kalau la saya ada anak nanti, nak je saya bagi bedtime stories all about sirah nabi :) betapa untungnya anak2 kecil kalau kecik2 lagi dah dihidangkan dengan kisah2 para sahabat, perjuangan Rasulullah.
bila fikir balik, bila bru faham apa tujuan hidup time umur 18 thn, apa la yg dah aku buat selama nie? untung la sape2 yang dari kecil dibesarkan dengan Allah berada sepenuhnya dalam hati. Saya xnafikan mmg dari kecil dulu saya Islam tapi without understanding what Islam really is, it made me feel sad. TO know dat i have lived for nearly 20 years but only to know now what I am living for, i can only wish that my children will get Islam before they become adult.
IM=individu muslim
camne nak jadi IM yang mantap?
Let Allah in their hearts :)
Budak2 sume ad hak untuk nak tau Islam. Its up to us yang dah faham nie, bagitau kt diorg. Share dengan diorg.. InsyaAllah bumi ni akan penuh dengan khalifah2 kecil yang sgt2 hebat yang akan membesar untuk ISlam.

Saya sayang awak lillahi taa'la

Atas dasar apa sebenarnya kita berkawan?
Atas dasar apa kita menyayangi sahabat kita?

Sebelum ni, the words "I love You" laju je keluar dari mulut. Memang kita sayang kawan2 kita tapi feel dia tak sama when we love them because of who they are or what they have compared to when we love them truly because of Allah.

Even I don't understand the meaning of loving my friends because of Him before this. What do you feel when you love someone just for the sake of Allah? Is there any difference?

Pernah sekali mata ni terasa hangat semasa sedang berehlah dengan akhawat2, saudara muslimah satu pagi nie. Sejuk je sekeliling tapi mata nie rasa berair. Best sangat bila kita lihat sesuatu tu dari kaca mata Islam. I don't see my friends for what they are anymore, I see them as a gift. A gift given to me that are so precious that I have to take care of it so carefully. Time tu dapat rasa yang saya saaaaaaaangat syg diorg lillahi taala.

It wasn't the same as before. Ini x bermaksud kwn2 sy sebelum nie, saya x ikhlas syg diorg but its never to late to build on top of the old friendship bond a new one that is centred on Allah :)

Ukhwah Fillah..sgt comel :D

Jom kita bermujahadah bersama2 lillahi taa'la!

Muwasaffat Tarbiyyah

hmmm hari ni kat kulsem baru dpt psl muwasaffat tarbiyyah betul2..
sblm ni tau tu tau, tapi xpenah tau die mmg ad dlm al-quran. sume Allah dh ckp dh dlm surah Al-Qasas. kalau IB ad IB learner profile yg dicipta oleh manusia tahun 1968, bayangkn Allah dh gariskn kt kita ap ciri2 seorang muslim patut ada sejak dulu lg.

Jazakillah tu sis Najjah for sharing tonite. sgt best dpt tahu ada yang Allah nak sampaikan selain drpd kisah Nabi Musa a.s dlm surah ni. 10 ciri2 yang Allah selitkn dlm ayat 14-28 sgt berguna utk kita insyaAllah.

Live on,Nabila

EVen with movies we can get inspiration right?
To be able to realise the message behind dis movie, i've at least cried one litre of tears (exaggerate much?) :)

From dat movie, it made me realised we all have our gift given by God. Its up to us whether or not to use it to the fullest. I don't want it to go to waste. Its true that the road will not be a straight with no obstacles on it. But that's life. we are created to go through hardship. That's fact. What I can do now is to keep going.

Not everyone has the chance that God has given us. Going back to a conversation I had with a friend of mine on ym, he said, "Grab it, even Nabila penat atau bosan. Peluang ni datang skali je dalam hidup. Jangan siakan."
Thanks for dat :)

No matter how hard it is to stay up, no matter how boring the stacks full of assignments would b (you name it: EE, ToK, world lit etc) I'll take it.

Live on. I got a lot more to face ahead right :)
Live On! InsyaAllah

Boleh x nak geram?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

betul la org kata sabar tu susah...senag je cakap 'sabar separuh daripada iman' tapi bila nak praktikkn, bagi saya memang susah.
kalau dulu2 smpai baling2 barang punye geram kt org (xla kt org tu) tp rsa cm yang tu je jln yg pling best nk lepaskn marah. puas hati.
geram nie dr semalam lg. tolong la,GERAMMMMM. nak baling laptop pun ad. baling la ap pun yg ad dkt ngn tgn.
utk mengelakkn drpd barang pecah, sy un try la bukak love letter pink saya. geram smpai tahap menangis nih. i was thinking of calling sumone, nak let go je kt dat person but bila scroll down d list of names to call, xde un yg rsa nk dicall. one reason was mayb they'r still having raya blast so i dunt want to spoil the mood. another might be because the urge of calling anyone at dat time suddenly faded.
Then i realised. wats d point of calling anyone just asking them to hear my problem when theres always the One who listens to me without having me to fork out my phone credit :')
Dalam hati nie, tolong la bg aku satu ayat je, satu je so dat dis feeling of hatred will go away. Memang Allah Maha Mengetahui. He knows how I feel and what I need.
Try bukak surah Taha (20:130)
and alhamdulillah saya try buat benda yang Allah suro wat, and Allah hadirkan walau secebis un, tapi Allah bagi jugak ketenangan.

Contengan Jalanan I-Fend

Alhadulillah baru seesai baca one of the 2 parts in Contengan Jalanan. and every chapter of this book never fails to teach me sumthing new Masya-Allah :)

So whoever Allah wants to guide - He expands his breast to [contain] Islam; and whoever He wants to misguide - He makes his breast tight and constricted as though he were climbing into the sky. Thus does Allah place defilement upon those who do not believe. (6:125)

Sangat-sangat la bersyukur Allah buka hati utk beli buku Hlovate nie. If I cud, I buy dis book n giv it to everyone I know. nk share betapa sweetnya tarbiyyah Allah melalui Contengan Jalanan.

Allah bagi baca pulak dlm waktu Ramadhan, sma ngn Fend. Godwilling, I want to taste the Ramadhan he has gone through, nak masuk kursus intensif gk. Bestny berlumba-lumba mengutip pahala dgn sahabat2 seperjuangan. Lagi best bila Allah kurniakan Harun untuk kita, mcm nabi Musa r.a.

Sedarlah, Allah always wants the best for us. His guidance is everywhere we lay our eyes on. Kadang-kadang Allah bagi kita air mata untuk dititiskn bukan nak bagi kita sedih, tapi carilah ibrah disebalik kesedihan tu. Ada je Allah nak ajar kita :)

Janganlah Engkau ambil hamba-Mu ini at d eleventh hour. I want to live through a life where I will not regret leaving. Not because of wealth, nor happiness with what i have right now or anything else for that matter. I just want a life where I can dedicate all my doings for You. I want to wake up before its too late.

At first I didn't really understand it.But now Alhamdulillah, Allah has shown me what it means.

The man who decided to change on the 12th hour dies on the 11th

You always make me feel better

Hmm......

Subhanallah. I think dat's the only word that can describe what i'm feeling.

Allah is sooooo sweet :)

He helped me get through one thing that I didn't think I wud b able to do. He kept me busy thinking of Him so dat I didn't cry.

Honestly, I thought it wud b hard for me but alhamdulillah His love filled my heart.

He has planned everything so beautifully. I cudn't hav wished for a better way :)

InsyaAllah I'm preparing myself for the future right now...but we can only plan. Allah will decide. Ya Allah, if this is the best for me, aku redha Ya Allah.

The 'LOve' in the picture

have I told u that the love sign in d picture above in dis blog-d one with my faces all around it hehe-a picture at taman tasik, Taiping?

Yup..to symbolises a place that have a lot of wonderful memories. A place where I learned something-not just a place where I took my SPM.

A place where I learned the meaning of love

(don't get me wrong here. love towards many things ok :))

A weekend with them :)

Last weekend, alhamdulillah Allah has given me the chance to see 2 of my best friends from tepeng :)

Currently, they're studying in RUssia doin Medic but not at the same place. One is at Nizhny n d other one in Moscow.

Its been almost a year now since d last time I saw them b4 they fly. Even tho the reunion wasn't planned properly, we still had a blast :D

Nana (my best friend too hihi) n I took a cab to d ERL n got off at kl central. Haja n Annes were supposed to meet us there. After a while, we saw Haja waiting, wearin a jubah. My God, she's still d same cute Haja :) Annes was d last person to arrive hehe... Since Kl central wasn't a really good place to hang out as there's nothin significant there, we'v decided to go to Mid n break our fast there.

It felt such a long time till d breakin of fast so we wandered around till our feet hurts. Being girls, its a nature to spend hours going into stores n outlets but not buying anythin :)

Haja wanted to eat at Kenny Rogers but it was fully booked so the man at the counter told us to cum at 8 pm. We insisted on booking a place but he said its alright, just come by later. We were like, 'fine, as long as there's a table.' After praying in a cramped space (seriously, they need to widen the surau or make some sort of renovation. Its a big shopping complex with a surau smaller than d one in KL central urghhh...it was devastating to see d condition.), we went back up with a grin on our faces imaginin d foods we were goin to order. Little did we know, we had to que. and it was a LONG QUE. I dunno abt evryone else but I kinda expected to just walk in, just like d man said. *A slap in d face* walk in je..yea rite.

Haja was mumbling under her breath, saying that she was goin to punch d man haha..making our way to the other restaurants, we walked for a quite a bit and finally decided to settle down at 'Belanga' restaurant. it was quite good actually, d food (not minding the price of one nasi lemak + ice lemon tea). o yea, annes brought with her strawberries n cherries yummy yum yum :)

We stayed there until 9.30. after enough chit chat, we made our way back to ktm hoho..it was cramped like in a sardine tin. literally. thank god for d ladies coach.

Since Annes had to go home because her family was going back to kampung, it was just the three of us in the end. We slept at INTEC dat nite, at putri's room (another friend of ours. btw, jazakillah put for lettin us stay overnight :)). we thought we can just go past d guard like we did last year but he caught us. well, nearly. Putri was there too because she came down to greet us. He stopped us and asked abt our id card. Putri bein a good girl and cudn't tel a lie, was speechless hehe. there was an awkward moment with evryone looking at each other, scared if we were goin to be kicked out. I, on d other hand, being not-so-good girl and was sooo tired of walking all day long, with a face of' we're-innocent' told him that all of our cards were left inside our 'room' b4 goin out (which was hardly believable as there's three of us, all went out without an ID). Seriously, I just wanted to lie down on putri's bed. Then, he went in at d pondok while we were like, 'we're dead.' I thought we had to write down our names or sumthin like dat n got into trouble. But Alhamdulillah, Allah was watching and always has been, d guard just told us not to do it again, leavin our ID dat is. :)))) syukran jazilan Ya Allah.

So, we stayed at INTEC and d next morning, packed our bags n went home. we did stopped at SACC mall (i think dats d name) n bought baju raya hehe.. better late than never, rite?

I had a fabulous time even though on Monday we were going to have a standardised test on Maths. going out for a weekend did not stop us from bringing our math books with us (Nana n I) n we still had time to study even though at sum place else besides KMB n our home.

Jazakumullah hukhairan kathira to NANA, HAJAR and ANNIS for d weekend. luv u all and I pray our friendship will last even wen u guys r in Russia n hopefully insyaAllah still together when Nana n I fly too :)

I cudn't really find a picture of d four of us since haja is shy-shy cat :)

(Front row: Annes is d 3rd from d left, Nana is wearin red, Haja is beside her, d small one)

This was taken ages ago wen we were still in Taiping :) waaa...miss Taiping so much!

One step ahead

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah...

Seriously, if we want to compare Allah's gifts to us, u can't even count them.

HE always gives the best, doesn't He? :)

Bila dah dapat apa yang kita nak (alhamdulillah again), what is supposed to be our next step? Mestila nak bagi Allah yang terbaik kan?

Hmm...macam mana nak wat cmtu?

Use what He has given you to do good deeds and to achieve our goal-KI !

Adakah potassium iodide ? hehe...

Khalifah dan ahli A'bid la kan :)

A lie

I often lie to myself. I say that I'm in a search for Allah, but I'm not even trying. He keeps giving me signs and clues through everyone and everything that's happening around me, but I didn't see. I turned away.

Last night made me realised that if I want Allah with me, I need to be in a constant search for Him. I don't know about everyone else but I can only focus on one thing at a time. everything that i do, is a step-by-step process. being an IB student, you have to prioritize right? it's true in a way. but also wrong. I've been prioritizing other things, unimportant n unnecessary things. Where is Allah in my heart? I've been telling myself, "oh, He's here Nabila, in ur heart. you can turn to Him whenever you want.'

But that's just it. He's not. He's trying to be but it's me who's not letting Him in.

Allah has not made for a man two hearts in his interior.

33:4

Allah made us with one heart and this heart is only for Him. How unfortunate for us if we let something else to be inside us.

Boleh x bagitau saya tuan yang mencari hambanya? It's hard to find, isn't it? I can only find Allah who does that. Who are we to Allah? but then again, what have we done to Him? Its never enough to give back what He has given us. Allah asks us only to do two things in this life: Be an a'bid and a khalifah. Have we done any one of those thing correctly? These questions goes to me in particular. I haven't been able to answer them truthfully all this while. All I did is lie to myself. saying things that made me seem like a good person but actually, i'm nowhere near it.

I can't do this alone, i know that. Its hard as it is. This is where ukhwah fillah comes in :) just knowing I have my Muslim brothers and sisters who r on the same road with me, pulling me back up whenever I stumble is a push for me to never quit.

Allah, I want to let u know that I'm trying. Never give up on me :)

Who to turn to

who do u turn to when everyone around u are dissolved in their workload just as you are? do u realise, we as human always find comfort in our parents first, if not our friends. but who is always beside u even when u don't realise it? We've always looked past Him specially in times when we'r so happy with the world.

'iaitu orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka menjadi tenteram dengan mengingati Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingat Allah hati akan menjadi tenteram'

(13:18)

MOCK interview, DONE!

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah...

Dah selesai sudah mock interview wid mrs Carol Armor n may I say, she was a very nice interviewer! How I wished I cud hav an interview like dat again :)

Seriusly, i wasnt prepared much. Imagine reading all d latest technological advances in medic an hour before d interview! Nasib baik sempat.

Just nak share dat even u stayed up or skipped ur class just because u feel u weren't prepared for d interview, remember that anything cud happen and Allah will help u no matter what.

And He did just dat :) To me.

Dah la semalam dengan demo taekwondo nyer kt junior2 n sblum tu mesti la ada strenuous trainings but I made it. Memang hebat la dduk KMB nie. Sume benda kena buat all in one time. Sape2 nak jadi doktor, u're welcome to join d IB life :) It really teaches u sumthing.

Saya memang berdoa supaya Allah bagi pertolongan utk wat sume benda nie. Without Him, rasanya dah lama dah drop IB. perghh...tp betul. Beruntunglah orang2 yg dapat mengenal cinta Allah di sini walaupun secebis je.

Tips for future interviewee: Don't memorize what u're going to say (like I always did before dis) but just remember d points, not d details. And speak confidently. Support what ur saying. And most of all, BE HAPPY. kalo bleh, pakai bju cerah2 bru interviewer tu x bosan tgk kita hehe..sit n b comel :)

InsyaAllah boleh.

Soalan yg saya dapat:

-tell me about urself. where do u live bla2

-where do u want to pursue ur medical career at?

-why dat University?

-What do u want to specialize in? ( I said nephro so she asked me: Tell me d function of kidney)

-What's ur opinion on abortion?

-How do u feel about euthanasia (mercy killing)? would u do it?

-What's d latest invention in the medicine world currently?

-Tell me about ur hospital attachment.

-If u were placed at Africa (they r facing world famine at the moment) n u hav limited supply of food n medication, who would u give them to? n why?

n fave Qs: why do u want to be a doctor? Truthfully, i didnt know what to say myself but eventually I went with passion in Biology hehe..well, its true.

plus: if u dont know what they r asking or u dont quite understand d question, just ask them to repeat it or say, i dont know but i'll surely do a research on it bla3...

All d best :)

PS: After this, the real interview. don't know when. placement un x settle lg. but so far, InsyaAllah i've chosen UK as my 1st choice n Ireland as my 2nd. Pray for me evryone!

Kahwin...

salam semua... hmm, u must be wondering why i'm talking about marriage all of a sudden. actually, this isn't the first attempt i tried to post something like this. haha

anyway, i wanna share with u all on tazkirah dat was given last night at block F, KMB. we usually have a short tazkirah abt 10 mins (tho it always lasted more than dat! but i dont mind :) 'COOLSEM' stands for kuliah sepuluh minit. imagine, i'd only got to know dat dis semester, after being here for nearly a year now! ish3...

so, last night's coolsem was about 'HAKIKAT BAHAGIA'. sape penah dgr lagu UNIC nie? sy pun first time dgr. it was good. kiteorg tgh kaitkan kebahagiaan tu dgn Allah so ada la sorg kwn nie tadabbur surah Ar-Ra'd ayat 28:

(yaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan mereka menjadi tenteram apabila mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingat Allah hati menjadi tenteram"

Subhanallah..waktu tu rasa cm *pukk* tekena kt diri sendiri. this past few days, i've been having a conflict with myself. I've got a problem. well, not really a big one but enough to make me think abt it every now n then. Sbg seorg manusia yg kerdil, xpenah lepas dr khilaf. Asyik2 teringat kt sorg bdk nie. dia cm, bukan nk pun tp tu la. memang susah la nk control feelings nie kn especially when ure fighting with nafsu. mujahaddah tu mmg susah tmbah2 lg bila berperang dgn nafsu sendiri. Kalo tibe2 nmpak nma dia kt ym 'online' ke mesti rsa sumthing (ceh). xcukup ngn tu, tgn nie kdg2 gatal nk g tkn 'chat' tp alhamdulillah dpt mengawal diri ini drpd terjebak ke dlm bnda2 yg x menambahkn iman langsung.

Xtau kenapa, sejak 2 menjak ni tba2 risau psl the FUTURE. its true dat evry one shud worry abt it. but, wat abt ur future life with sumone? (hahaha...gile la kau nabila). Normal ke saya fikir mcm nie? bru 19 thn. nak pikir tu xde mslh, cuma (nak nasihat diri ni, tolong support ye) x yah ler fikir jauh sgt. (ye ke?)

Berbalik kpd ayat td, Subhanallah. terima kasih byk2 Ya Allah sbb masih terus mengingatkn saya kepada-Mu. Sgt sweet kn Allah tu? Even bila kita tgh sibuk2 fikir psl benda lain, Dia tetap igt kt kite. Dia lah yg menggerakkan hati sy utk dgr koolsem, dgr ayat-ayat cinta Dia. Allah tu nak sgt kita tau hanya dgn ingat kt Dia je, kita nie akn rsa semua yg kita ada dh cukup, cukup utk membuatkn kita bahagia. serius, betul.

Cuba fikir, kalau Allah xpedulikn kita, sapa lagi yg kita ada? Na'uzubillah..thank u Allah for giving me another chance. Cinta manusia, semua x kekal cuma cinta Allah je. kita xtau once we marry sumone whether he or she will love us forever or not. but Allah's love is certain, for sure :)

To the one I'm saving my heart to, if u want it, go and seek Allah for He is keeping it with Him. I don't know if fate would bring us together or not but to Allah I give my whole life to.

To my fellow sisters, rebutlah cinta Allah dahulu. awk2 sume xakan menyesal. nangislah dkt Dia, mengadulah kt Dia. Dia sentiasa ada dgn kita. InsyaAllah

Baik atau tidak baik bagiku?

Thank to all my sisters who constantly reminding me of why I am here today.

Hari demi hari mesti ada perkara yang baru yang boleh diambil ibrah atau pengajaran daripadanya. Allah tidak menjadikan sesuatu tanpa sebarang sebab. Mesti ada yang Dia nak sampaikan. Adakah kita perasan atau buat-buat tak perasan sebab tu bukan benda yang kita nak, kan?

Sesungguhnya Allah berfirman,

...tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui (2:216)

Jom kita tadabbur sikit ayat nie. Boleh jadi sesuatu benda tu kita suka sangat2 sampaikan yang tulah yang membuatkan hati kita nie gembira kalau boleh memilikinya or gunakannya but we don't know it may not be good for us. Saya nak ambil contoh la..especially buat muslimat yang disayangi... i know this because as a matter of fact it happened to me and alhamdulillah, saya dah nampak pengajaran yang Allah nak bagi kepada saya.

I used to wear clothes that kadang2 adik saya sendiri cakap , "kakak, pakai baju adik ke?" perghh..ayat pedas. this was when I was in form 2 or 3, something like that. Kalau dulu tu, xde la rasa sangat pun pakai baju2 mcm tu nampak salah. Baju jugak en. tutup mana yang patut. pakai tudung apa. tak cukup lagi? mana ada penah pakai seluar 3 quarters keluar main, apatah lagi short. nak kena pancung buat la. Tapi, betul ke tutup? ke kita je yang rasa 'tutup'.Persoalan nie memang dah berzaman org dok cakap tapi nak tanya jgk: Adakah aurat itu sekadar menutupi rambut? Betul x kalau saya cakap, pakai tudung pun kadang2 x bertudung? hmmm..mcm mana tu? Jangan tipu diri sendiri, tudung bawal n lebih2 lagi fesyen sekarang, hmpph hampeh. semua nampak leher. at least, jarang la.

Kenapa kita pakai mcm tu ye? First reason maybe because kita x perasan pun yang apa kita pakai sebenarnya tak ada pun istilah aurat kt pakaian kita (or maybe buat2 x nampak). Ramai org tau yang dia buat salah tapi tak nak mengaku. memang susah nak mengaku kt depan org n sometimes dgn diri sendiri un kita melawan, nak cakap kita nie betul jgk. Second, because we want to look 'good' di mata manusia. kenapa kita xnak look 'beautiful' di mata Allah? Tau tak betapa berharganya seorang wanita yang ditutup auratnya dengan sempurna, xmembiarkan orang lain melihat apa yang tak patut selaind drpd muhrimnya? well, we should kerana wanita tu ialah hiasan dunia yang paling indah. Tapi bukan sebarang wanita. WANITA SOLEHAH.

Saya akui bukan senang nak bermujahadah lebih2 lagi dalam umur kita yang masih muda. tapi tu lah yang membuatkan Allah lagi sayang apabila pemuda-pemudi menjaga agamaNya dengan sebaik mungkin. I hope I'm not just writing this and don't take any action. Its easier said than done, right?

InsyaAllah Allah kurniakan kita dengan iman yang mantap untuk menjadi a push-factor for us to change for the better, pray to Him because he is never tired of listening to us :) Pray He will give us , not necessarily what we want and would like, but the best that He can give us because Allah mengetahui sedangkan kita tidak mengetahui.

Aku sedih...

Salam warahmatullah...

Ok, this is the first week after the semester break. and it's MPI (minggu Penghayatan Islam) in kmb. But so far, i've seen so many wrongdoings and ironies in the students itself.

Sedih la... Allah has given so many peringatan dah kat kita semua. Kenapa xnk ambil? Kenapa buat2 x nampak? Kenapa kita takut nak cakap, "what you're doing right now is wrong." kenapa kita x cegah kemungkaran?

This particularly goes to me. Takut nya Ya Allah, kalau nanti Allah tanya apa yang aku dah buat untuk Islam? Subhanallah.. jangan kata nak dibandingkan dengan baginda Rasulullah, bahkan dengan rakan-rakan yang hati mereka Allah dah takhluki pun, apalah sangat yang aku dah contribute...

Nak bagitau jugak yang hati ni sebenarnya tengah sedih tengok kawan-kawan kt kmb. bukan semua cuma segelintir sahaja. tapi, kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga. maybe some of you know what I'm talking about. Ambil lah segala peringatan yang Allah dah bagi dalam masa seminggu nie utk panduan seumur hidup. ya, hidayah Allah ada di mana-mana sahaja tapi kalau kita buat2 x nampak, xboleh jugak. Grab it, my sisters. Know that I love you all dan saya nak kita semua berjumpa balik di syurga firdausi insyaAllah. Dan kalau saya ada salah silap, please correct me. tell me. kita sama2 pernah dan masih melakukan kesalahan2 jadi sama2 lah kita beri peringatan insyaAllah.

Sincerely,

your Muslim sister

A quote

A woman should be so in love with Allah

that A man has to seek Him

in order to find her

Wahai muslimah2 sekalian, x dinafikn amatlah susah utk buat mcm nie. bg sesiapa yg dapat cinta Allah, simpanlah elok2. jgn lah dgn senang hati buang. Kalau nak bandingkn cinta Ilahi dgn cinta manusia, yg mana lebih kekal? So, (bercakap pada diri sendiri jugak hehe) open your heart to Allah first.

I bought myself a present

ngahaha...dis is wat happens to someone who don't usually have ppl buying her stuff (and thank God for that)

well, technically I used my dad's money :) maseh abah. the rm20 note just flung out of his wallet (and dat don't usually happen, I can tell ya) and he said , "nah, kamu beli cpt sikit." I was slightly taken aback by the abrupt action but thanks again, dad. InsyaAllah, if you are doing something for a good cause, Allah will make it easy for you :)

And is it for a good cause? InsyaAllah...Manusia nie, selain drpd makan scr fizikal, hati nurani die pun kena mkn jgk. Suapkn hati kecil kita nie dgn alunan ayat2 Allah, zikr & munajat dan segala benda yang baik. Pernah dgr x hadis

Rasulullah SAW bersabda bermaksud: "Ketahuilah dalam jasad manusia ada seketul daging, jika ia baik maka baiklah jasad itu dan jika ia rosak maka rosaklah jasad itu, itulah yang dinamakan hati." (Hadis riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

So, the present I was talking about is a book. And its not just any book, its a novel. Now, here you may think how on Earth can a novel boleh merawat hati yang sentiasa kejauhan dari Penciptanya. Well, lets give a round of applause for HLOVATE. When I first saw the front cover of VERSUS (the author's first first book I think), I'd never thought the content was like it is. But then after hearing my friends talking about it and how good the storyline was, I'd decided to give it a try. and let me tell you, it was worth it Alhamdulillah! Story dia mmg suit dgn remaja cm kita yg sedang mencari Allah dan pengisian rohani nie. memang mantap la Hlovate. its not just any boring lovey dovey stuff but compact dgn ilmu.

However, I didn't buy VERSUS though I'm still searching for any bookstore that has discounts on all Hlovate's books. O yeah, saya pun dah jatuh hati dengan karya beliau so I brought the latest one 'CONTENGAN JALANAN' ngehehe...

At first, I was going to read it right after I arrived home but then, looking at the piles of homework waiting to be done, it was almost impossible. Straining myself from tearing off the plastic cover of the book, I thought of keeping it nicely with its cover on until my birthday :)

A present from Nabila to Nabila. Yeah well, maybe some of you thinks it's sad and all that, but how often do you buy yourself a gift, right? Think of it as a token of appreciation to yourself for being you and insyaAllah for being a BETTER you.

Ni nak rewind back sikit to my past ...

This was during my year in Taiping. Someone msgd me and asked, "dah ade dh ke THE GIFT, yg cecelia ahern tu?" yep, that time I was sooo into Cecelia Ahern. best kot buku die. anyway, I said, "nope but I'd love to buy it." especially the one I saw in Popular, siap dengan ribbon lg kt buku tu, literally 'the gift'. Then, dia tu ckp, 'xpyh beli. nak bg nie.' I was like, fuyoo! tak pernah2 org nk bagi free2 je buku yg ak minat as a present. unbelievable laa jgk msa tu. Punya la dok terbayang, cmne la org nie nk bagi kat aku. dlm kotak ke, balut ke..smpai ke sekecik2 detail ngehehe..ye la, first time dapat hadiah dr dia tu.

but wait, the funny thing was I'd never got the present :) That person tiba2 had to move school so bila masuk taun baru, dia dh xde. Ad problem kot so, apakan daya. Kawan xsempat bg. smpai sekarang xde contact ngn dia. Anyway, as for the book, it was hard for me to forget about it and during my holiday after spm (imagine one year after org nk bagi buku tu tp xterbg) I bought 'The Gift' myself. hihihi..

I think when you buy yourself a book, you'll appreciate it more because until now, xde kedut2 pun kt buku tu :) tp, kalau org belikn or hadiahkn, pun kita akn appreciate jgk en. no matter how you got the book, as long as you don't waste the valuable lessons in the story then it was certainly worth it reading the book.

InsyaAllah :)

2 places on Earth I wanna go to

I don't know why but I would love to go to Beijing. There was a friend of mine who went to this place and when I saw the pictures, it was like an instant love. For me, Beijing has something that I couldn't point my finger to. Its such a..what's the word for it? It has its own attraction to my heart.

Once I saw a documentary on it n from there I knew it was a place in China with most Muslims in it (InsyaAllah betul :) It always amazes me to find a race other than Malays or Arabs with Islam in their heart and how strong they are with their faith. even the Malays right now are facing so much problem.

Kadang-kadang tu rasa Ya Allah malunye tengok bangsa sendiri ntah hanyut ke mana but then where is my role in preventing it? Cakap pandai tapi tangan nie x intervene2 pun. Ye memang selemah-lemah iman mencegah dengan hati but I believe there is so much more than we as brothers and sisters of Islam, can do. Only I need guidance from you all.

Anyway, if I have a chance to go to Beijing, I would visit the Great Wall of China and Summer Palace. hehe, these are the only two place I know right now.O and hari tu ada my ustaz kt kmb, dia kata dia nak g becuti nak menziarahi pusara Saad b Abu Waqqas..aku yang xtau pape nie ingat kt negeri Arab la. but then, a friend said "fuyooo, ustaz nak g China tuh." Ok, nabila. u're so need to read on sirah again. Even though its in Guangzhou, I'm sure I could diverge a little bit from Beijing to visit pusara Saad b Abu Waqqas :)

Dalam rukun Islam yang ke-5, Allah said "tunaikan haji sekali seumur hidup jika mampu". This year, my parents had a chance (given by Allah) to perform umrah. Hearing my mother's stories made me wanna go through all the extaordinary experiences myself. For some ppl, they may hav been there once or twice or even every year but for me yang tak pernah jejakkan kaki kt sana, for sure I want to have the chance to go. Cuti ni, ada dua org dari kelas aku yang pegi sana. eeee sgt best!

My mum said, "Sitting on the steps in Masjidil Haram with the Kaabah in front of me made me forget all the worries in the world and it just filled me with such tranquility that there is no word to describe the feeling." O Allah, I wanna feel it too!

Just something to ponder on:Have you ever wondered macam mana satu tamadun agung boleh bermula di tengah2 padang pasir sedangkan all the other great civilisation start dekat tepi2 (rewind back to ur form 4 books ppl) Allah nak tunjukkan kalau Allah kata 'kun-fayakun', anything can happen. betapa bertuahnya kita sebagai saudara Islam.

I couldn't really say that these are the only places on Earth I wanna go to but right now, they are on the top of the list with Makkah leading :) InsyaAllah

In the jungle?!

How old were you when you started to think about how your own family would be like?

Well, I couldn't exactly remember when but I know for sure it was way back when I was young hehe...

When I have my own kids (this was a long time ago), I'd actually thought to whisk away all my children and go build a treehouse in the jungle (HAHAHA).

Sebab apa aku nak wat cmnie?

Tengokla ap yang semakin menjadi2 di dunia ni. takutnya kalau kita x boleh nak mendidik anak2 kita dengan baik dan akhirnya, mereka menjadi rakan-rakan syaitan. Na'uzubillah...I'm scared if I fail to raise my kids properly, fail to lead them to Allah. I am very thankful for having the chance to be raised in a wonderful family. Memang betulla, 'anak itu ibarat kain putih dan ibu bapa yang mencorakkannya.'

Parents do play the biggest role in shaping their child, whether they would turn good or even bad. However, we can't simply turn a blind eye to the external factors: friends, internet, etc...

I thought at that time (back when I was small, that is) the simplest way to avoid my child from having negative influences is to bring them to a place where there would be nobody else around, just us. A treehouse would be perfect. just like the one in george of the jungle. ooo best2. Maybe once in a while I could bring them to the city...

If george can raise a family in the jungle why can't I?

Ok..back to reality NABILA!

aku rasa susah la kalo nak totally avoid the whole world. And akan jadi ssh kalo nak ajar anak2 sorg sbb brape sgtlah ilmu yang kita ada berbanding dengan ustaz dan ustazah, kalo x pun org yang dah ad banyak ilmu dr kita yg seciput nie..

so, whatever diffiiculties that comes in my way now n in the future, I pray that Allah gives me strength to do my best in overcumin the hurdles in life insyaAllah

Fave Quote of the Day

Tawakkul: Make Du'a, Do your best, And leave the Rest To Allah.

The meaning of tawakkal.

Manusia nie selalu lupa untuk bertawakkal.

Once you're finished with something (lets say ur exam) we always spend the time after that enjoying ourselves to the fullest.

Allah is forgotten for a while, Our prayers are cut short just so we can spend more time watching tv, going out to the mall etc...

Tawakkal means once we've doin sumthing to the fullest, we pray for the best.

Pray

Pray

Pray

O Allah, I've done my best. Now, I pray to You to give what is the best for me